Dating after Divorce

That the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him.

2 Thessalonians 1:12

Many of us who’ve divorced find ourselves in the season of singleness and wondering what we should do. Some of us ask ourselves questions like “How long after divorce should I date?” or “Should I date at all?” In addition, there’s a myriad of theological and opinionated views that we attempt to balance with prayer and reading God’s word.

If we are open to dating after divorce, we need to consider God’s will for our life more than anything else. This is a time of quiet reflection of our intentions, desires, and expectations. If we date just because people expect us to—we’re on the wrong path. If we date just because we want to fill that void—we’re on the wrong path. If we date just because we are lonely—we’re on the wrong path.

Our ultimate motivation needs to begin with God because who wants to make the same mistake over and over again? For many of us, one divorce was exhausting enough that we’re looking to God for direction and peace. Some of us have completed the Divorce Care course offered at our churches to find peace after divorce. Many of us have read Tony Evan’s book, The Kingdom Single, that is exceptionally enlightening on the topic of singleness. Others of us have talked to family and friends about the potential of dating for wise advice and counsel.

And yet, we may still have reservations on dating. The bottom line is that we need to come to the place of only wanting what God wants for us. Therefore, we constantly keep our minds and flesh in check to not wander outside of His will. We protect our hearts and emotions from becoming overly attached to an idea or person who’s not in God’s plan for our lives. More than anything—we stay close to God in prayer and in His word.

Dating after divorce doesn’t have to be complicated, but it needs to be completely surrendered to God for wisdom and grace. There are many venues to meeting people—yet not every one of them is spiritually profitable. However, we serve a mighty God who knows our needs and desires before we do. He is able to bless us above and beyond what we ask or think if we’re willing to listen and follow His leading.