A Word for the D.I.V.O.R.C.E.D.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

Sometimes it’s hard to talk about divorce among Christians because we are admonished by Scripture to remain married until death. However, what is true in the world is also true in the church—50% of our marriages end in divorce. It’s a devastating experience for those who sincerely married with the intent of remaining married until death.

Divorce for me was like pulling apart a body—it’s ugly, painful, and the scars can take a really long time to heal. Our society has become so harden because of the rampant sin that many times divorce doesn’t seem as hard as it really is. “I hate divorce,” says the GOD of Israel. GOD-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. (Malachi 3:16)

There are those who divorced for foolish and selfish reasons. Yet, there are many in our churches today who are divorced that never saw it coming. Jesus said in Matthew 19 it was because of the “hardness of heart” that Moses allowed divorce. Marriage takes two people working together to make it work. If one person hardens their heart towards doing what needs to be done in order to stay together—divorce suddenly can become a reality.

For those who are divorced and in the body of Christ—I want you to know that divorce is difficult, yet God is greater and He can give you hope in the midst of this tough time. I hope this word to the divorced will encourage your faith in God using the acronym D.I.V.O.R.C.E.D.:

D – Determine to stay in the faith
“Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25)

I – Invest time for taking care of yourself—spirit, mind, and body
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. (Romans 12:1)

V – Validate other’s advice or opinions with sound scripture and peace from God’s Spirit
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)

O – Open your heart and mind to a new normal
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:19)
R – Release the past and move forward with your life.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

C – Connect with a small group or Bible study group
“For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” (Matthew 18:20)

E – Extend yourself ample time for healing before getting into another relationship.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-5)

D – Draw near to God.
“Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (James 4:8)