Selective Dating


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That you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.

Song of Solomon 2:7

Dating is tough at any time of life. Many of us are unsure of whether we should date or not. Christian men and women who choose selective dating rather than worldly examples will have the best opportunity to enjoy a great relationship. What does selective D-A-T-I-N-G look like?

D – Decide beforehand your expectations of a dating relationship. (Luke 14:28)
Many of us go into dating without first thinking through our expectations of ourselves or the other person. Unmet expectations can cause disappointment both ways.

A – Ask wise family and friends to share thoughts about your readiness to date. (Proverbs 15:22)
Sometimes we are blinded by our own desires and we need strong people around us to speak truth. Godly family and friends will encourage us to pause the dating process if we aren’t quite ready.

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T – Take the time to pray for wisdom about the type of person you want to date. (James 1:5)
Just because someone is available to date doesn’t mean that we should consider them. God will give us wisdom about the person who best fits our personality and character.

I – Investigate your motives in a dating relationship. (James 4:3)
Our motives can be powerful and often overlooked from the surface. Our times of prayer should also include honest conversations with God on the reason we are wanting to date.

N – Navigate potential dating partners from within the body of Christ. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Dating unbelievers can be a risky choice. Our feelings can’t be more trusted over our faith. Sometimes our emotions can get entwined in a relationship that doesn’t honor God.

G – Give the dating process time to grow and mature. (Ecclesiastes 11:1)
Not everyone we date is a potential life partner. Some of us date for companionship and not for the purpose of marriage. Taking our time to enjoy the friendship gives us the best indicator if there’s a future or not.


Dear Lord, I want to be selective in the dating process that brings honor to Your name. I pray for wisdom and direction to do so. In Jesus’ name, amen.

In His Service,

Crystal McDowell Signature

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