It’s Hard but I will Trust

The Christian group, Hillsong, released a song, Oceans, at just the time I needed to hear it. In my darkest nights, I played and replayed the song over and over again. The lyrics spoke to my heart about trusting in God without boundaries, believing in God when I felt like I was drowning, and knowing that I belonged to God.

Before the world I knew collapsed, I believed that I trusted in God. I prayed in faith over my children, I saw the hand of God intervene in my behalf many times, and I searched the scriptures to make sure I was living in accordance to the Bible. However, when things weren’t changing around for me as fast as I wanted, I struggled with trusting in God. I reminded Him often that I wasn’t perfect, but that I was faithful—so why were things so bad?

As I listened to the music, I learned in those late evenings and early mornings that I wasn’t alone in my trial. While my problems caught me completely off guard, God was preparing me years before it fell apart.

I didn’t realize the incredible significance of living and teaching the word of God to my children, until I saw each of them tested, tried, and true to the Lord. I didn’t understand the full impact of prayer until I experienced the grace and mercy of answered prayers. I didn’t realize that my life choices during the testing were a testimony and strength to family and friends. I didn’t know that even if my husband and I are legally divorced, God gives me the power to still honor and uphold our marital covenant before Him.

It was hard and it’s still hard, but we all struggle in our own ways. It doesn’t make sense to trust in the Lord only when our lives are level and predictable. When we trust in the unpredictable valleys, we experience our greatest spiritual growth. It’s hard, but we still trust Him.

Prayer

Dear Lord, teach me to continue to trust even when it’s hard. I want to come through this situation fully committed to You regardless of what lies ahead. In Jesus’ name, amen.

In His Service,

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