Don’t Put It Off


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Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

Proverbs 27:5

When a young couple first gets married, they can be so in love with each other that they let a lot of things slide, probably important things to discuss like “I really have always hated peas” or “I prefer that we play tennis instead of golf”. And because we don’t want to hurt our spouse’s feelings, we keep them to ourselves.

Sometimes there can be even tougher issues, such as a spouse who talks too much, spends too much money, or isn’t taking good care of their health. After a number of years with children, mortgages, stress, health issues, extended family conflicts, we might find ourselves with less patience and are more likely to lay our frustrations on our husbands.

If we would learn how to speak with love and in wisdom to our spouses early on, we can avoid a huge pileup of inner discontent and angst. Avoidance isn’t dealing with a problem; it’s sweeping it under the rug and hoping no one notices the huge mountain in the middle of our living room. Our marriages will have a greater understanding and longevity if we speak the truth in love to our spouses.

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Not every spouse is going to be open to your honesty. Your husband or wife may find ways to run off when it’s time to approach them about the truth. Your first objective is to spend time with God in prayer to seek His wisdom on how to approach difficult topics. The Lord knows your husband or wife a lot better than you and He knows what’s at the root of the problem. Therefore, ask the Lord for insight and discernment that will give you the greatest opportunity and success.


Dear Lord, keep me from the temptations of passivity and avoidance that will never result in a good marriage. Help me to first look to You for direction and insight into sharing the hard truths with my spouse. In Jesus’ name, amen.

In His Service,

Crystal McDowell Signature

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