Emotional Disengagement

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Do not take to heart all the things that people say.

Ecclesiastes 7:21

Many people have emotionally disengaged themselves in a negative manner. Perhaps they’ve been hurt by others, so they throw up a wall to keep people out. This isn’t healthy or helpful in many relationships. However, there is a place for healthy emotional disengagement, especially when you are in conflict with a family member, friend, or co-worker.

This emotional disengagement is about taking your emotions/feelings about the issue and setting them temporarily aside. Many times we get upset and angry about a situation to the point where we are unable to resolve the problem. Our emotions are easily manipulated by the desires of our flesh, which only seeks our pleasure instead of humbling ourselves.

When we step back and emotionally disengage, we then must allow a spiritual engagement to take its course. Spiritual engagement means that we ask ourselves the question “what would God have me to do.” We place ourselves out of the emotional upheaval and begin to see the situation from an eternal perspective.

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We ask questions, such as will this situation matter when I stand before God one day? Have I handled it in a way that God will say to me “well done”? Or will I suffer loss because of my pride and selfishness? We must also take into account the spiritual maturity of the other person and ask ourselves this question: Will my response give this person a true reflection of Christ in me?

Emotional disengagement and spiritual engagement doesn’t mean that we just roll over and let the other person step all over us and the issue. Rather, it’s a calculated and thoughtful response that reflects spiritual maturity and a Christ-like attitude. When we choose Christ, we are given wisdom above our human abilities to respond in the best manner.

Prayer

Dear Lord, help me to know when I’m becoming more emotionally than spiritually engaged in a conflict. Give me the strength to tone down my emotions and respond in the most loving spiritual engagement. Amen.

In His Service,

Crystal McDowell Signature

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